Check out the first teaser for To My Arrogant Boss by J. S. Cooper below!
To Mr. Tate Howard,
You are quite possibly the most infuriating, annoying and grumpy man I’ve ever met in my life. I know you think that you’re God’s gift to women, but I have a secret to let you in on: you’re not. You’re God’s gift to yourself. Get over your wanna-be cool surfer self and grow up. I thought it was time that someone addressed your big head and told you straight to your face that you’re not all that. Just because you have an Ivy league education doesn’t mean you’re the smartest man in the world. In fact, I’m not even sure if you would have gotten in if you didn’t have rich parents. Yes, I went there. Every woman doesn’t want to sleep with you and I’m sure you’re not even good in bed. And I’m someone that would know.
Your Secret Not Admirer
I stared at the letter that had arrived in the mail and read it twice before laughing. This was the first time I’d ever received an anonymous letter and granted it wasn’t from a secret admirer, it was still someone that I had obviously affected enough to have made them write to me.
“At least they know I have a big head.” I grinned to myself as I folded the letter back up and put it back in the envelope.
“Another man on a chain and leash.” I pursed my lips as I stared at my phone. I put it back in the slot in front of me as I continued to run on the treadmill. I ran ten miles every morning: sometimes in the street and sometimes in the gym. I looked around the gym and nodded at the bulky guy two treadmills down from me. He was stocky, but he wasn’t cut; like me. A cute blonde chick was on a recumbent bike to the left and I gave her a small smile as she stared back at me, yet again. She’d looked at me more times than I could count and I knew she was hoping I’d strike up a conversation with her. I’d thought about it when I’d arrived at the gym, but now I was too annoyed. I picked up my phone again and stared at the text message from my college friend and business partner, Jagger Scott. “Can’t make the bar tonight. Magnolia wants us to go to a pottery class. Have a shot for me.”
“A fucking pottery class?” I rolled my eyes. Jagger was my third friend in two years to have become a pussy just because he was getting some. I had no idea what the hell was going on. We were only thirty, in the prime of our lives. We were meant to be going out, getting wasted and waking up in strange chick’s bedrooms. Like we did in college. Shit, we’d all had a ton of fun in college. I remember one night when I’d gotten ten numbers and had one girl blow me in the bathroom before I’d gone home with her friend. That had been a fun night. I sighed and then scrolled through my phone to figure out who else could be my wingman for the night. The traction on the treadmill grew harder as it switched to uphill mode and I stopped looking at my phone for a few seconds to concentrate on running.
As I ran I thought about the note I’d received the day before. I’d found it tucked inside my gym bag and I had no idea who had placed it inside or where; as my gym bag travelled with me everywhere. It was obviously from a woman, what man would send me a note saying I thought I was God’s gift to women? Though I knew she couldn’t actually know me because if she did she would know that I actually was God’s gift to women. I chuckled to myself at her comment that every woman didn’t want to sleep with me.
“You obviously want to though.” I muttered under my breath. Whoever had sent me the letter was obviously someone that wanted me very badly. “They want the big C.” I grinned to myself as I ran. I only wished that I knew what they looked like so I could decide if I wanted to sleep with her as well. I increased my pace on the treadmill and looked around. Blondie was staring back at me fluttering her eyes and I gave her one of my quick smiles and another nod. She was okay, maybe a six, she had a good body, face was just okay. I’d do her if she didn’t go to the same gym as me. Fucking with her would just be asking for trouble. I looked to the right and there was a cute redhead doing squats, her ass was practically popping out of her tight yoga pants and I could see the outline of her thong. As she stood up, she looked over in my direction and I watched as she played with her ponytail and bit her lip. I could picture myself pulling her hair as she gave me a blowjob. I looked away from her and focused back on my machine. No point getting hard now, nothing I could do about it.
My phone beeped and there was another text message from Tate. I opened it up, cursed under my breath and then put my phone back down without responding.
“Magnolia wants to know if you want to come over for Sunday lunch? She and the other girls from the office will be there. Let me know. She wants to make a good impression.”
“Good impression, my ass.” I shook my head, increased my pace and resolved to get in the last two miles of my run in twelve minutes. My heart was pumping and I could feel the sweat running down my back as I ran. No, I did not want to go to lunch with the five women that worked for me. Now that Tate was dating, shit engaged to Magnolia, he had completely lost the ball. Domesticated didn’t even begin to describe him. Back in grad school, he’d been one of the guys and we’d partied hard every weekend. I’d thought he was a kindred spirit and had been delighted when he’d invested in my startup. We’d both down well on the Stock Market and I valued his input. Having started my own company four months ago had been a huge endeavor and on the weekends I wanted to blow off steam with unknown women. I didn’t want to be sitting at a table with the five women that worked for me. Magnolia, Tate’s fiancee, was a pretty girl with dark brown hair and big brown eyes and she was a very eager employee. She was a copywriter, meant to write the company’s blogs and press releases, though she didn’t really seem to know much about finance. Which my company was all about. I’d started a new website and app that allowed people to figure out the quickest ways to raise their credit scores and manage debt so that they could get to join the 800 club. The original name of my company had been Cool Credit, but one of my other employees had gotten Tate to persuade me to change the name. 800 Club was a better name than Cool Credit, but I wasn’t about to tell Jane Garcia that. She was the employee that came up with the new name and a pain in my ass. Jane was one of those women that seemed to think she was smarter, faster, and holier than everyone else. She was the sort of woman that needed to be taught a lesson, with her judgmental brown eyes and long black hair. She looked like a model, only she couldn’t walk the Catwalk because her breasts were too big and her hips were too wide. She had the smile of a vixen, with her perfect white teeth and pouty pink lips. Jane Garcia drove me crazy in more ways than one. The fact is I would have fired her if she hadn’t been good at her job. We’d gotten off on the wrong foot the day she’d started working for me and nothing had gone right since then. I had to admit she was a good employee though, in fact, she was most probably the best employee at the office. She had the most unique and forward thinking ideas and we’d already implemented most of them into our work plan. That didn’t stop me from wanting to spank her though and I’d nearly told her that on more than one occasion. I’d love to see the look on her innocent face if I told her what I’d like to do with her. But there were many reasons why that was a bad idea. One, she was twenty-four years old and at thirty, I knew better than to mess with a girl in their early twenties. Two, she had a fiery attitude and heaven knew what she would do to me if I had my way with here. And thirdly, she was my employee, I was almost certain she’d sue me for sexual harassment if I even muttured the words “get on the ground and suck my cock,” let alone if I whipped it out in front of her. Unfortunately for me, I had to keep my mouth closed and my cock in my pants, though that didn’t stop me from having wicked thoughts.
“Hey there handsome.” A silky voice interrupted my thoughts and I looked up to see the blonde from the bike in front of me.
“Hey,” I nodded and reached forward to press some buttons and lower the speed of the machine.
“Working out hard?” She played with her hair and smiled at me, her blue eyes devouring my muscle sweat with eagerness.
“Or hardly working.” I said with a conceited smile.
“Funny.” She laughed, throwing her head back and chest forward so that I could examine her certainly large breasts.
“Okay.” I nodded.
“So, I notice you come here a lot.”
“So do I.”
“I guess that’s good for the gym.”
She looked slightly put-off by my response, but as she stood there staring at me, I felt a sense of displeasure at having my workout interrupted.
“I bet I can think of another way to work off some calories.” She licked her lips, her long tongue moving quickly back and forth.
“Yeah.” She winked and slipped a finger into her mouth and started sucking. “Have you been into the steam room yet today.”
“Want to go?” She pulled her finger out of her mouth and I watched as she ran her hands down her breasts and squeezed them for a few seconds. “I know I could make it worth your time.”
“No thanks.” I shook my head. “Too many germs in there.”
She looked taken aback by my words and her face looked confused as she stood there. “I meant we can go there and have some fun. Maybe I’ll give you a blowjob and you can tittyfuck me?” She smiled again then, certain that her explicit words would do the trick.
“Like I said, too many germs.” I shook my head and leaned forward to increase the pace on the treadmill again. “Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have a workout to finish.”
She stared at me with annoyed wide eyes and just stood there as I started running faster on the machine. I knew that I’d been slightly rude, but what had she expected? I mean, I liked easy uncomplicated fun, but I didn’t like easy women. A little chase made the final kill a lot more worth it. I didn’t need the food to drop at my feet or rather the lay. What fun was that.
“Well, it was nice talking.” She said finally as she started to walk away from me.
“Aight, plastic titties.” I said under my breath and chuckled. I wanted to call after her and tell her that I wasn’t a silicon man. I liked big breasts, but I also liked them to jiggle. Her tits had been as solid as rocks as she’d squeezed them. No thanks! I thought to myself. She wasn’t worth the ten minutes in the steam room when I could wax one out in the shower in five without looking at her face. I wondered if my anonymous not admirer was a member of the plastic brigade or not.
“Shit.” I grunted out-loud as I realized that plastic titties might be my secret non-admirer. The note had been left in my gym bag after all. But then, why would she come up to me, all flirtatious like, if she had left me the note. The person who had left me the note obviously didn’t like me very much. Or maybe they liked me too much. Maybe they wanted to suck on my balls, but didn’t know how to tell me. I laughed out loud as I finished the last five minutes of my run. I was pretty sure the only thing they wanted to do with my balls was put them in a blender.
Hot water streamed down my face as I stood in the communal showers, torso forward. I knew that some guys were self-conscious bathing in front of others; usually the guys that weren’t very well endowed. I didn’t have that problem. I was well-endowed with a muscular trim body that many women had admired. I soaped up my chest and put shampoo in my hair and let the hot water take the tension out of my shoulders. My plans for the night were now out the window because fucking Magnolia Allen wanted to take a pottery class. I didn’t know who I was more pissed at. Magnolia for her boring idea or Jagger for agreeing to it and blowing off our weekly Friday night plans. Granted, he hadn’t been in San Francisco for that long, but when we’d lived in New York City we’d always went to a bar on Friday nights. Sometimes just the two of us, sometimes with friends. And we’d have some shots and talk about stocks and football before making small talk with a group of friends and honing in on the two that we wanted. Jagger had also told the story of his childhood love to garner sympathy (though I knew I couldn’t tell Magnolia that) and I’d just talked about being the youngest guy at my hedge fund to make a billion dollars in profit for our clients. Yes, women couldn’t stop themselves from fawning at me once they realized I was rich as well as being hot. I grinned as I soaped up my cock, I was feeling horny and a part of me wondered if I had time to rub one out. There were only three other guys at the gym already and the chance of one of them walking in and catching me was slim, but I knew better than to risk it. If I was going to get caught in the showers, it would be with someone else and not plastic titties outside either. I changed the water temperature to cold and almost jumped out of my skin when the cold water hit me. Shit! I felt like I’d taken a dip in the Arctic Ocean, but at least my hardon was gone. I was going to try and get to the office early today, my employees often gathered in the kitchen to talk and I’d found that I loved their salacious gossip, even though I would never admit that to them. It was odd working in an office with all women. Especially coming from a background in Wall Street where 90% of my colleagues had been male. Women were different sorts of thinkers and different sorts of workers. I actually really enjoyed being in an office with all women, even though it hadn’t been planned. Out of my five employees, one, Magnolia, had been chosen for the position by Tate and the other four had just been the best candidates that the agency had found. Magnolia, Jane, Millie, Birdy, and Olivia were all excited about my startup and I truly felt like they were doing everything they could to help make 800 Club a success. Even if half of them rubbed me up the wrong way. Well, if I was honest it was only Jane that rubbed me up the wrong way. Maybe because she had quite literally rubbed me up on her first day. I turned the shower off and headed to my locker.
I opened it up and pulled out my duffle bag and unzipped it as images from Jane’s first day in the office popped into my mind. I couldn’t stop the smile from spreading on my face. It had been an unfortunate day, but funny all the same. It wasn’t like I’d planned it. Not that that really mattered of course, but still, the fact that she’d played along for a few minutes had been gold. My cock twitched at the memory and I leaned back into the locker as memories of that day flooded in.
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