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“It was on my doorstep this morning. I think it’s a present from Jagger.”
“Who’s Jagger?” Olivia asked as she and Millie walked over to the table with interested looks on their faces. “Your boyfriend?”
“No, no. He’s not my boyfriend. He’s my neighbor.”
“Her very good looking neighbor.” Jane fanned her hand in front of her face.
“How do you know?” Millie asked.
“I met him yesterday when we went for lunch.” Jane said. “Let’s just say that he and Magnolia’s chemistry is off the charts.”
“No, it’s not.” I exclaimed. “He’s an asshole.”
“An asshole that gives you presents?” Millie played with her curls. “I’d love to meet some assholes like that.”
“Me too.” Olivia laughed and I just rolled my eyes.
“Trust me guys. You wouldn’t want to deal with a guy like Jagger. He thinks he’s God’s gift to women and the entire human race.”
“Open the present.” Jane pleaded. “I want to see what he got you. If it’s diamond earrings I will scream.”
“Why would he give me diamond earrings?” I shook my head. “It’s more like trash bags or something. He’s an idiot like that.”
“Sounds kinda sweet to me.” Millie said. “Open now please, before we all have to get to work.”
“Fine, hold on.” I said and placed my cup down. I grabbed the box and started tearing off the paper eagerly. I was curious to see what present Jagger had gotten me. Jane’s idea of a diamond necklace had gotten me excited. I knew Jagger wouldn’t have spent that much money on me, but maybe was something really sweet. I couldn’t wait to see. An envelope fell out of the box as I ripped open the package and I opened it quickly.
“Read it out loud.” Olivia said. “I want to know what he said.”
“Fine.” I said and read the note aloud. “To The Cute Girl in Apartment Four, I’m so glad I’m your new neighbor. Hopefully we can catch a movie soon or even dinner. This is for the nights that you deny yourself the pleasure of me. Your Incredibly Cute and not Rude at all neighbor in Apartment Five, Jagger.” I rolled my eyes as the girls all oohed and ahhed at the note. “I told you he’s full of himself.”
“He seems like he’s fun.” Millie said. “Now open the box.”
“Fine.” I said and continued opening the package. The brown box under the paper had a lot of tape and I pulled it off quickly, reaching inside and grabbing the plastic box that was covered by pink tissue paper. I ripped the tissue paper off and stared at my present in shock. There in all it’s flesh pink glory lay a huge cock, the writing on the box read, “8-Inch All-American Whopper Dong.”
“He got you a dildo?” Millie burst out laughing. “That’s hilarious.”
“Not just any dildo.” Olivia said as she grabbed the package from me. “He got her a fake cock that’s and I quote, made with Realskin for incredible lifelike feeling.” She giggled.
“That’s fucking huge.” Jane said as she grabbed the dildo from Olivia. “Look at those balls.” She moved her hands back and forth in a jiggling manner. “And look at that head, it looks so real.” She laughed as I glared at her. “Sorry, not sorry. This is hilarious.”
“It’s absolutely crazy.” I shook my head. “And rude as hell. How dare he get me a dildo?” I grabbed the box from her. “For all he knows I’m getting laid every night.”
“He’s your neighbor right?” Olivia asked. “He most probably knows that there’s no guy coming over and I’m guessing he hasn’t heard any late night screams?”
“Late night screams?” We all looked at her and she grinned.
“Hey, I’m in accounting. I’m not a virgin. If you girls haven’t been with a man that’s made you scream then you haven’t been with a real man.”
“I obviously have not been with a real man then.” Millie held her hand up. “The only thing I’ve had to scream is going faster doesn’t always mean better and use your fingers as well.”
“Hahaha.” I laughed and blushed at the same time. I was so thankful that my new work friends were so funny. Working here was going to be fun.
“I’ve never had to scream either.” Jane bit her lower lip. “Actually that’s not true. I had to yell at one guy, that’s not the right hole.”
“Oh my God, tell me about it.” Millie leaned in all conspiratorial like. “The last guy I was with kept trying to slip it in backside and I was like, did I tell you I wanted to do anal.” She rolled her eyes. “He kept saying he was confused. I was like no, your dick doesn’t enter my asshole by mistake just like my pussy doesn’t just slip onto your dick. Comprendo?” She shook her head. “Two weeks later I found out his ex was letting all sorts of accidental slipping happen and it was over.”
“Oh no. Are you okay?” I asked Millie, hoping she wasn’t still upset. “That’s awful.”
“I’m fine.” She laughed. “He was an asshole and I’m glad to be done with him.”
“Yeah, I know what you mean.” Jane giggled. “My ex used to push my head into his lap everytime we watched a movie, as if my job was to give him a blowjob while he enjoyed the movie. He soon learned that it wasn’t.”
“What did you do?” I asked, eager to hear more.
“Let’s just say that sucking a cock with two ice cubes in your mouth and pressing them up to the head for over a minute doesn’t give so much pleasure as it does pain.” She laughed and I was also giggling when someone cleared their throat and we all froze.
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What did you think of the new teaser? Leave a comment below!
Can’t wait to read!
Love it already pre-ordered my copy.
The preview is so fun. I can’t wait to read it.
Kimberly K Lawson
OMG IM ROLLING 😂😂😂😂, CAN’T WAIT TO READ MORE..❤️❤️
Oh, my gosh! I’m laughing so hard my stomach hurts. Those letters are a hoot!
That is too funny. You gotta love a cocky guy with a sense of humor.
Oh my god so good I can’t wait to read the whole book.
That’s hilarious 😂 look forward to reading more….
The preview makes me want to read it.
Love it, can’t wait to read
These teaser have been so funny. Can’t wait to tead this book.
Definitely need to keep reading!!!
I Cannot wait for this book!!! This will be one where I stay up all night and read this b👀k!!
So excited !
I pre-ordered it. Couldn’t resist
Ruth L McDonnell
Marcia aka NanaB
Can’t wait to se. what made them freeze! It’s gotta be good! More please!!!💞
Sounds great! Can’t wait!
I can’t wait to read this!! Sounds so good
This book need to be made into a 18+ movie immediately. It is panty melting hot.😝😝😝😝
I cannot wait to read this book! I will definitely be reading this one all night long.
Wow! Such a good teaser – cannot wait to read this one!
That was hilarious!!! I can’t wait to read this book!!
Can’t wait to meet him!
Looking forward to reading this book. I love the banter between the 2 main characters.
I’m so excited for this. The 30th can’t come soon enough.
So ready for this!
Hmmmm….trying to decide how I’m feeling about this book…but hen, trying to decide how I’m feeling about life, right now…
Oh my gosh, I can’t wait to read this!! 😂😂😂
Oh my!! So excited for this one!
Great laugh 😂
It was hilarious! I can’t wait to read it!!!
Omg I can’t wait for this to be released!! Would love an ARC. Thanks
Gawd!!! I love sarcasm and hot sex.
This looks like a really good book, love rom coms
Cheryl L Petit
This is gonna be one funny read!
Thanks for making me laugh and smile 😂🤣😂
I can’t wait to read❣️
Congratulations ! Looks like a great read.
I can’t wait to read.
I can’t wait to read this book
This is so hilarious.. I need more please
Sounds great, looking forward to reading it!
I can’t wait to read this book! It looks like a hoot! ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
Can’t wait to read.
Oh wow! I can’t wait to read this! It sounds like it’s going to be a book that will be hard to put down once I start reading it.
I am so excited for this one! It sounds so cheeky and fun! ❤️
Hilarious. Realistic girl convo(blushing) 🙂
So excited! Can’t wait!!
Oh my Gosh I love this it sounds Phenomenal
Can’t wait to read it xx
Can’t wait to read it ☺️
Sounds fun. I wish I lived next to “Rude guy in apartment 5”. Happy Writing!
Judging from just the excerpts, this is going to be one helluva rom-com. Love it!
Loved the teaser ! I cannot wait for this book to come out it is going to be hilarious.
This sounds great! Definitely looking forward to this book!
There are going to be some chuckle points in this book. I’m going to have a blast laughing at those hilarious moments.
Omg!! I need a laugh in my life, and this might be it. Love it!
This sounds like a conversation I’d have with my girlfriends. Can’t wait to read.
Patricia L Vowell
I can’t wait to read this!!