Final Teaser from To The Rude Guy in Apartment Five & A Giveaway!

Preorder on Amazon US, Amazon UK, Amazon AU, Amazon CA, iBooks, Nook.

To The Rude Guy in Apartment Five,

I was watching a show last week that I think you should check out. It’s called my 600-lb life. I think you know why I’m recommending it. 

Your Neighbor in Apartment Four

P.S. No I will not help you clean your ass. Not even if you pay me a million dollars.

To My Neighbor in Apartment Four,

Funny you should send me that note today. I was watching tv myself. Well, I guess Pornhub isn’t exactly TV, but I was watching this ‘film’ called, Dirty Neighbors. I was thinking perhaps we could make our own version. Would you prefer to be girl that slips into the wrong bed or girl that slips into the wrong shower? The rest of the slipping you can leave up to me.

Your 200lbs of muscle hunky neighbor, Jagger

P.S. I will help you clean your ass for free. Call me.

To The Rude Guy in Apartment Five,

I had an idea. How about I be the neighbor that moves out as soon as you move in? Try not to slip on your ego as you move about. I have a feeling your head is going to hurt when you fall.

Your Neighbor in Apartment Four

P.S. No thanks. I don’t have a phone.

To the Girl with the Cute Ass in Apartment Four,

I can buy you a phone? Shall we role-play lonely housewife and hot door to door salesman? Or would you rather me be a plumber? I do like to fix leaks. I’m told I have a great plug. 😉

If I fell, would you heal me back to health? I do have a thing for nurses. 

Your neighbor that’s falling for you, Jagger

P.S. I’m pretty proud of the “falling for you” – aren’t I smart?

To The Rude Guy in Apartment Five,

Are you smart when compared to a First Grader? After careful thought and deliberation, I have to say no. Also, I have no interest in healing you back to health. I do know that pillows over the head work well though. I have no interest in you playing a salesman or plumber. Why don’t you try playing someone who has a clue?

Your Neighbor in Apartment Four

To The Sexy Nurse in Apartment Four,

Please hurry over soon. I have a fever and there’s only once cure. You on top of me…read into that what you will. Unless of course you prefer me on top or behind or wherever you want. I aim to please. In all ways. At all times. 

Your Feverish Neighbor, Jagger

P.S. I have a stethoscope if you need looking over.

To The Rude Guy in Apartment Five,

Keep dreaming. I have no interest in being with an imbecile. I will never be on top of you, behind you, under you, or in front of you. I’d have more pleasure being whipped at an S&M club.

Your Neighbor in Apartment Four

P.S. That is not an invite

To The Kinky Girl in Apartment Four,

Yes, yes, yes. Let’s go. I can use a whip, my hand, a belt my tongue. Anything you want. We don’t even have to go to the club. My apartment works fine.

Your New Dominant Neighbor, Jagger

P.S. What do you think of the name Spank bank? Spank Club? Spank Ass?

To The Rude Guy in Apartment Five,

Unfortunately your last note has been returned to you as spam. Do not message me again or I will report you to building management.

Your Neighbor in Apartment Four

P. S. If I was spanking you, I’d use a paddle. A very hard paddle.

Out on March 30th! Preorder on Amazon US, Amazon UK, Amazon AU, Amazon CA, iBooks, Nook.

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Jaimie

XOXO